Miss Ireland became Miss World this week; Rosanna Davison from Dun Laoghaire, Ireland - crowned as, officially, the Most Beautiful Woman In The World. She is the first Irish woman to ever win the beauty contest, and naturally you would expect that her home town should be delighted that such fame and attention should find itself in the local community!

But not when her home town contains ugly, jealous, socialist women.

No, instead the local government council meeting, at which the idea of sending a congratulatory letter to Miss Davison was discussed, became a farce as several green-eyed ladies in the room spewed forth a torrent of objections at even the MENTION of such a contest. Jane Dillon Byrne, who (apparently) is one of the local (Irish) Labour government representatives, snorted, “I think the concept of the Miss World contest is dated and is a shallow representation of women. There are far more pressing issues out there that need to be addressed at council level.” Of course writing a congratulations letter was OBVIOUSLY going to take up too much of her valuable time, which could be better put to use somewhere else. Like tree-planting, perhaps (…which I note was one of the “pressing issues” recorded in the minutes of one of their previous meetings).

Lets be totally honest here. These cretins are Covetous Witches. They are women who have not been graced with the physical attributes required to enter a competition even SEMI-related to beauty, let alone to stand a chance of winning it. They are typically women who are fusty leftovers from the faded, tired feminism of the 1960s and 70s and wish it had went further than it did. Many have moustaches. Most waddle rather than walk. They are professional women who don’t like anything to be judged by criteria that isn’t subject to having the ’self’ fiddled. They are the same ones who so venomously attacked Simon Cowell and Pop Idol …. because you see, they don’t LIKE the nature of a world that seems unequal. Covetous Witches can’t stand the fact that some people are naturally more talented or beautiful or well-connected or skilled or intelligent. They wish they lived in a bland, grey world with everything balanced and equalised. Everything is defined for them in negative terms - what else we should ban, what success we can abase, what failure we can reward. Most Covetous Witches are fairly ugly, or have ugly families. Most of them have watches that they time exactly by the Speaking Clock. “At the third stroke…”

The point is; there is NOTHING WRONG with Miss World! By means of our very human nature, we all weigh and rate each others’ beauty, talent, ability, speed, strength, etc. all the time. Beauty for the purposes of finding a partner for a start. Why is it suddenly invalid to formalise it and declare a winner? Its called ‘competition’, guys. It is a very fundamental part of human nature. You’d best get used to it!

Do I support the idea of the beauty contest? Sure!; beauty is a great shade of the colour of humankind to compare, contrast and enjoy by which to rival each other and find a common interest. It is legitimate to search for and find our Pop Idol, it is legitimate to search for and find the Olympic fastest, and it is legitimate to search for and find our MISS WORLD.

And finally, as one from the island of Ireland to another, may I offer my congratulations to the newly-crowned Miss World, Rosanna Davison. Don’t let the Witches get you down.